Because of reasons.
My family though is all excited about the holidays which leaves me as the odd one out. As well as emotional turbulence, I'm still not done my Christmas shopping, which eats away at me nightly--that's the thing about getting older, you're more worried about buying presents than Santa. I hate leaving things till last minute though.
I haven't really been looking forward to the holidays that much, to be honest with you, all the rush of gifts and perfect presents. It makes my head spin. As well the holidays are a time to look back on what you've accomplished this past year. For me, I never seem to accomplish enough to make myself happy.
As some of you may know I had surgery back in June a couple days after my birthday and then because of the surgery I took some time off of school. Because I took time off school I didn't get to accomplish as much as I wanted to in that area of my life. But there was simply no way I could have went to school with the amount of pain I was in. Which I get, but still hate. Being isolated from the surgery and home most of the time has been hard, yet it is harder still, having my family around... constantly now that the holidays are here. I love my family but they are not always the easiest to get along with and sometimes they make my head spin.
My mom, my brother, and my sister are looking forward to the holidays while I have just been hoping to survive it. But as the clock ticks on, I find that I'm slowly able to feel some excitement in regards to this holiday. After reading more about this holiday, as in tracing back it's origins, I've found many stories about this season which have given me a greater understanding of where this holiday came from. And no, I'm not talking about the generally accepted version of saviors being born on Christmas in a barn.
The thing about this time of year is that it makes a lot of people sad, myself included, ever since December 12 2011. Christmas has never been the same since that date for my family and I.
Yet, something I read about this time of year on Tumblr has stayed with me about what this time of year is all about.
Winter, a lingering season, is a time to gather golden moments, embark on a sentimental journey, and enjoy every idle hour. - John Boswell
After reading that I've felt more at peace with this time of year and found myself able to concentrate on this holiday season with more of an open mind. And that is why it is something I wanted to share on this blog.
Did you know the origin of this holiday was to mark the longest nights of winter and to signify that winter is slowly abating. Of course, this is if you trace the roots of the holiday backwards in time. The generally accepted meaning today is much different than what it was a couple hundred years ago. Though the same themes carry through.
This is the time of year when we come together with family and friends to feast and celebrate, we mark the fact that winter is almost over, that the darkness is ending. This holiday, like all of them, connects us to our past and to the people that have lived here before us.
And to me, that is something pretty incredible. So dear followers I wish you all well in this upcoming holiday season.