Yuletide Greetings

It is December 17 already, Christmas is a week away almost less than a week away. And can I just say, I am still sort of dreading the holidays.

Because of reasons.

My family though is all excited about the holidays which leaves me as the odd one out. As well as emotional turbulence, I'm still not done my Christmas shopping, which eats away at me nightly--that's the thing about getting older, you're more worried about buying presents than Santa. I hate leaving things till last minute though.

I haven't really been looking forward to the holidays that much, to be honest with you, all the rush of gifts and perfect presents. It makes my head spin.  As well the holidays are a time to look back on what you've accomplished this past year. For me, I never seem to accomplish enough to make myself happy.

As some of you may know I had surgery back in June a couple days after my birthday and then because of the surgery I took some time off of school. Because I took time off school I didn't get to accomplish as much as I wanted to in that area of my life. But there was simply no way I could have went to school with the amount of pain I was in. Which I get, but still hate. Being isolated from the surgery and home most of the time has been hard, yet it is harder still, having my family around... constantly now that the holidays are here. I love my family but they are not always the easiest to get along with and sometimes they make my head spin.

My mom, my brother, and my sister are looking forward to the holidays while I have just been hoping to survive it. But as the clock ticks on, I find that I'm slowly able to feel some excitement in regards to this holiday. After reading more about this holiday, as in tracing back it's origins, I've found many stories about this season which have given me a greater understanding of where this holiday came from. And no, I'm not talking about the generally accepted version of saviors being born on Christmas in a barn.

The thing about this time of year is that it makes a lot of people sad, myself included, ever since December 12 2011. Christmas has never been the same since that date for my family and I.
Yet, something I read about this time of year on Tumblr has stayed with me about what this time of year is all about.

Winter, a lingering season, is a time to gather golden moments, embark on a sentimental journey, and enjoy every idle hour. - John Boswell

After reading that I've felt more at peace with this time of year and found myself able to concentrate on this holiday season with more of an open mind. And that is why it is something I wanted to share on this blog.

Did you know the origin of this holiday was to mark the longest nights of winter and to signify that winter is slowly abating. Of course, this is if you trace the roots of the holiday backwards in time. The generally accepted meaning today is much different than what it was a couple hundred years ago. Though the same themes carry through.

This is the time of year when we come together with family and friends to feast and celebrate, we mark the fact that winter is almost over, that the darkness is ending. This holiday, like all of them, connects us to our past and to the people that have lived here before us.

And to me, that is something pretty incredible. So dear followers I wish you all well in this upcoming holiday season.

The Thinking Woman's Guide To Real Magic

The Thinking Woman's Guide To Magic
Emily Croy Barker

Also known as: where has this book been all my life? 

“It was one thing to read about a society obsessed with female purity—quite another to find yourself living in one.”

This book was epic, it was fantastic. It was impossible to put down. And it kept me up many nights until I was too tired to continue. It was smart and funny and I loved it. It was an epic fantasy.

There are so many reasons I loved this book. Nora was a great protagonist, she may not have been smart in regards to her love life, but it every other way she was savvy and very intelligent and honestly it made this book great.

Nora is smart, independent, savvy, and able, as a protagonist. She's a strong, human protagonist. Awhile ago on Tumblr there was this post going around about writing strong-female protagonists. In this little rant/post about strong females the writer said not to worry about writing strong-kick-ass female protagonists and instead write about interesting, complex, human female protagonists. Now while personally I believe that writing strong women and writing complex women are not necessarily seprate and excursive only to that, Nora embodies both ideals.
She is a strong protagonist in the unconventional way that she is herself--she is complex and human, she really effs up a couple times. So that is what I mean when I say she is human.

So this story begins in present day earth. We find out that Nora's has had a rough couple of months and things take a turn for the worse as she finds out her boyfriend, another professor, intends to marry another woman. Meaning he had been cheating on her while they were together. Nora is a professor at the local university, she's very intelligent but she's hit a dull spot in her life. Her life is far from perfect at home and it is far from what she imagined it would be. But, her life isn't exactly bad, but it isn't exactly outstandingly great.

On a weekend trip up to the mountains Nora stumbles into an alternate universe while going for a walk. She doesn't realize this at first, in fact, it takes a long time for her to realize that this new world is far from what she thinks it is.

But she is introduced to a fabulous new world that is vivid, imaginative, and becomes more startlingly real as the book progresses. And when she meets Illisa, she is enchanted.

Illisa is beautiful, perfect and graceful. And she takes Nora under her wing and introduces her to Raclin and this amazing new world that's full of glitz and glamour.

It is of course too good to be true.
Eventually the nightmarish truth about this new world is revealed. The further Nora is submerged in this world, the further it becomes clear that Illisa and Raclin are not who they appear to be. And then the real story begins. Nora is saved by Aurendiel after she finds out the truth about everything.

And then, she learns about magic.

Honestly, this book was fantastic. It was full of adventure, and though the beginning started off slow, it didn't last long and quickly captured my attention. As a protagonist I loved Nora. Even after all the horrid things she had been through, when she's finally safe in Aurendiel's manor, she is finally able to be herself again. Her curiosity returns and she begins to learn more about this new, fantastic world.

This is a great book that will make a great Christmas present.

Give it to anyone who likes fantasy, or adventure with a side of romance. And despite the tittle I believe this book would make a great gift for men who enjoy fantasy too because honestly the writing and the world building are fantastic.

The Holiday Season approaches, NaNoWriMo comes to a close

Being that it is officially December the stores are finally justified in playing the same Christmas music over and over and over and over, on a loop and National Novel Writing Month comes to a close.

I'm proud to say that this year I won, completed 50, 000 words, which at time proved to be very difficult. But at the same time it was a lot of fun. I learned more about certain characters and their back story by forcing myself to write--unfortunately, lax writing times produced much garbage that will need to be weeded out. Don't expect to see The Complex on shelves any time soon.

Congratulations to all those that succeeded in their writing endeavors and props to all those that tried. Even if you didn't get your entire goal done in November, don't give up, and still give yourself a pat on the back. You did really well by even trying. Not many people would have. So, celebrate!

With November coming to a close and December 1st finally here, the fact that I can no longer complain about Christmas music is saddening. But other than that this month is off to quite a start. Minor crisis aside, this month--well, if you want honesty I have to admit that this month is looking grim, because as no one actually knows, I'm not a fan of Christmas. And especially as December 12th draws ever closer I feel that same sense of complete dread taking root in my gut. 

But other than that I've got some things to look forward to, mainly appointments with my disability specialist, a couple doctors, and a check up with the surgeon. The thing about this is that you're only really excited about doctor's appointments if you're have any sort of chronic pain problem. Of course, at the same time you almost always leave completely effing disappointed, because, guess what! The doctors can't actually fix you. And rarely do they successfully help you. 

I am looking forward to them though because I have been struggling with a lot of stuff and I do believe that this doc will be able to help me in one way or another. Overall I'm feeling positive about this month, I'll be looking into the possibility of resuming my schooling as well, which believe it or not, I actually love. 

In honor of Nation Novel Writing Month coming to a close I've decided to answer the following questions that were sent out by NaNo staff; reflecting on how the month went and what I learned. 

National Novel Writing Month 

Personal Reflection Time

These questions were taken from a letter sent out from the NaNoWriMo staff; So You Participated in NaNoWriMo...; 

What are you most proud of achieving this month?

This month I'm proud of having reached and actually surpassed my goal of 50 000 words. I'm really glad that I decided to stick with it and write every damn day, even though, some day what I wrote was garbage.  

What did you learn about yourself as a writer?

I learned that I get distracted easily when I don't have an outline or a basic goal in mind for each chapter. Yet, it is almost impossible for me to write an outline. I find that it is really hard and very difficult to do, but when done it can help with keeping the novel and I on track as to where everyone is supposed to end up. I already knew that my stories are all character driven and that my characters are mysteries that I uncover. The characters are very life like in the way that they have there own stories but don't necessarily give up all their secrets at once. Some characters ended up surprising me. 

What excites you about this draft of your novel?

This draft of the novel excites me because it isn't finished yet. I reached the goal of 50, 000 words but the book is yet to be finished. I think that this draft, though, a rough copy, has much room for improvement. I believe that I've learned more about this world and these characters as I wrote it, which helps future me when I get to the revising and rewriting stage.

I think what was most important about NaNoWriMo is that I found out I can do it. I can set word goals and write everyday, even when I'm not feeling particularly inspired. I knew beforehand that I would be able to write 50 000 words in a month if I wanted to, but actually following through with it made it knowing I could very different. It was hard but worth it. The reward and satisfaction afterwards is elation, that feeling of awesome accomplishment really sunk that message in.  

NaNoWriMo: I already need a break

NaNoWriMo was off to a great-ish start. 

On November 1st at 12:01am I started writing The Complex--stayed up and wrote until I was too tired to go on. 

As you know, I'm writing a novel called The Complex, about a tough girl who has grown up in a prison/mental institution it is going to be a dystopian novel. 

This story is one I've had floating around my head for awhile now so it had been great starting it and fleshing this world out. 

November 1st was great--everything was flowing and moving and everything seemed to turn out just the way I wanted it to...flash forward to now. Everything is a big horrible disaster. 

I'm being over dramatic, sure; it isn't that bad, fine. 

But the story isn't turning out the way I want it to. It isn't flowing smoothly and that bugs me-a lot.

I'm on par with the suggested word count so everything is okay with that--I'm not behind yet, but it took a lot to force myself to write because so far my writing feels stiff and uneven. This world is a complicated one. 

But there will be days like that I'm afraid. 

It's inevitable. 

I already want a break. 

And another coffee. 

For now, I'll settle for going over to a family friend's house for a 'beading' party and a glass of wine.  

So how about you? How is your novel going?? 

Last but not least I bring to you some pictures and quotes from all over the internet to help you stay inspired.